"Verhoorlied" (Engels: "Interrogation Song") is een lied uit de film Muppets Most Wanted.
Schuingedrukte tekst word alleen gezongen in de albumversie en de lange versie van de film.
- Sam: Kermit, let's begin
Describe the day you played Berlin
- Constantine (doet alsof hij Kermit is): We rehearsed and then we walked about
We ate bratwurst and sauerkraut
- Jean Pierre: That night, at 10:03
Were you inside the portrait gallery?
- Constantine: From 10:00 to 10:04
Was when we did the show's encore
- Sam: Hm, frog, we've got our doubts
Can you confirm your whereabouts?
- Constantine: My alibi is watertight
The audience saw me sing all night
- Jean Pierre: Monsieur, we know you did the crime
- Constantine: I was onstage that whole time
Ask who sang Rainbow Connection.
- Sam and Jean Pierre: Thank you, Kermit! No more questions!
- Jean Pierre (gesproken): Hello! I think it's time for good cop/romantic cop.
- Miss Piggy, you cleaned up lock inside
Now's your chance to save your hide
- Miss Piggy: Oh, gentlemen, I did not know
It's a crime to steal the show
- Sam: Tell us how the art was taken
- Jean Pierre: If you want to save your bacon
- Miss Piggy: I haven't seen your missing art
All I stole was audience hearts
- Sam: We can give you a plea deal
- Jean Pierre: All you have to do is squeal
- Miss Piggy: I'm not a thief, I don't know how
All I've ever taken is a bow
- Jean Pierre: We'll catch the swine that did this job
- Miss Piggy: Give up the pig puns, creep!
Go jump in a lake, that's my suggestion!
- Sam and Jean Pierre: Thank you, Piggy! No more questions!
- Jean Pierre (gesproken): I think she likes me, no?
- Sam (gesproken): I don't think your puns are helping the investigation.
- Jean Pierre: You know, I think they did it
- Sam: No, they didn't!
- Jean Pierre: Yes, they did, and we can pin it
- Sam: If they did, how did they do it?
- Jean Pierre: If they didn't, how did they didn't?
- Sam: If they didn't, then it's easy
'Cause they simply didn't do it
- Jean Pierre: If they did it, then I knew it
But we've nothing that can prove it!
- (gesproken): Ahem. Oh excuse me. Bring in the purple guy with the schnoz.
- Sam: Do you remember what you did
On the night you played Madrid?
- Gonzo: I was hit by a raging bull
And rushed off-stage to the hospital
- Jean Pierre: Gonzo, what do you know
About the sculpture theft at Madrid's Prado?
- Gonzo: I never saw the stolen bust
I spent the night in bed concussed
- Sam: The truth, Gonzo, the clock is ticking
- Gonzo: If you don't believe me, ask the chicken
Camilla was there, she'll cooperate
- Jean Pierre: Madam, are you willing to corroborate?
- Camilla: (clucking)
- Sam: Will somebody get this chicken out of here?
- Gonzo: Calm down, Camilla, it's a routine inspection
- Sam and Jean Pierre: Thank you, Gonzo! No more questions!
- Jean Pierre: Let's go from the start
What do you know about the stolen art?
- Lew Zealand: I didn't know there was a plan
- Dr. Teeth: Your accusation's far out, man!
- Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: The chances of us committing a crime
Are less than .009
- The Swedish Chef: (Faux-Swedish)
- Jean Pierre: To help with our investigation
Can you do a full translation?
- Translator/Beaker: What the chef just said to you was "Shnoopdy-shnoopdy-shnoo." It's not Swedish.
- Animal: (grunts and laughs)
- Penguins: (quacking)
- Fozzie Bear: Uh, I can do an Elvis impression
- Sam and Jean Pierre: Thank you, Muppets! No more questions!
- Jean Pierre: They didn't
- Sam: No, they didn't
- Jean Pierre: There's no way they did the crime
- Sam: They couldn't, they're too stupid
- Jean Pierre: They're not criminal masterminds
- Sam: We do not know who did it
But we know they didn't do it
- Jean Pierre and Sam: So we know who didn't do it
Yes, we know who didn't do it!
- Jean Pierre (gesproken): They're incapable of being culpable.